she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
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