White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I deserve this hangover.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
