You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
