i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
