That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i think my mom watched the whole time
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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