That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
