Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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