when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
