I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
