It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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