Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
