Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
