That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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