he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
