when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
