Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
