After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
