you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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