Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
