and she was petting her beer can
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize