I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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