Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
