We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
