Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
