Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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