I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
