I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Couch. On fire.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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