belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
