dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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