I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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