Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
