I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
there is glitter all over my balls
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
