I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
