I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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