Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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