let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
