she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
