wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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