She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
