he thought i was a dude.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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