I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
