i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
