just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
