I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
