Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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