I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
