Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
