a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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