It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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