i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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