can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
