It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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