Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
