Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
